Oakland mob finds Foot Locker guilty in Trayvon Martin murder case

After another senseless and tragic murder, Foot Locker was again held responsible in Oakland for a needless death.

Citing the legal precedent of Angry Mob vs. Oakland Foot Locker (from July 2010 in the trial of Foot Locker for the murder of Oscar Grant), the angry mob of protesters swiftly reached a unanimous verdict and proceeded to smash in the windows of the hapless defendant. In 2010, the prosecutors awarded themselves civil damages of Lots of Free Sneakers, but it remains unclear as of this time if a similar settlement has yet been reached, as the windows have now been boarded up.

These are worrying times for Oakland Foot Locker. According to California law, any further violent felony offence and it will fall afoul of the three-strikes law – meaning a life sentence the next time the omniscient media decrees that a particular murder is racially charged or in some other way politically significant (perhaps to increase voter turnout). Thankfully for Oakland Foot Locker, the Ministry of Truth completely ignores the vast majority of all murders. Especially in crime-ridden areas of Oakland, San Francisco, Chicago or any other major city.